We all know how fearful parenting is. But did you know that we can simplify it a little so that every problem that is thrown your way doesn’t feel as overwhelming and frightening? That’s right, I said it, parenting turned simple. Hear me out…
It seems impossible…but it’s true. I’ve figured out one of the easiest ways to simplify parenting lessons and moments with your kids so that you don’t have to search for answers, scramble up something to say or avoid a situation all together.
I call it your Parenting Philosophy. Your Parenting Philosophy becomes the foundation of your parenting so no matter what the issue is, you can come back to your philosophy to help guide you through it and achieve your goals. It will help you stay calm, feel prepared and have somewhat of a plan on how to handle the fights, the disobedience and the teenage rebellion.
Because each child is different, and we have to take situations case-by-case, this is a good starting point to help guide you for whatever gets thrown in your face. (literally and figuratively)
Now think with me for a minute, because we can’t mold together perfect humans (stop denying it, we can’t!) we need to narrow it down a bit.
What are three main parenting goals you have for raising your child?
Imagine the moment when you are leaving your child at his/her dorm freshman year. This may seem faraway into the future or it may be right around the corner for you. Nonetheless, imagine it for a moment. Imagine looking at your (future)child and thinking,
“Through all the hard times and life lessons thus far, I have done my part to raise a(n) _______________ individual.”
Do you want your child to have a kind heart?
Is your goal to just keep your child alive?
Are your goals for them to excel academically to become insanely rich? (please say no)
Some examples to get you thinking…
· Kindhearted
· Compassionate
· Religious
· Honest
· Integritous (my made-up word for someone with integrity)
· Giving
· Healthy
· Safe
· Wealthy
· Empathetic
· Strong
· Independent
· Ambitious
· Encouraging
Clearly the list could go on and on and on. In order to simplify your parenting foundation, it’s best to think of 2 or 3 that you want to focus on. It’s a simple question,
What are your main goals as a parent?
Now imagine placing each word into the following sentences:
“I will do my part to raise a(n) _______________________ individual.”
“I will approach life lessons with my child to build a(n) __________________ individual.”
“As a parent, most importantly, I want my child to be ____________________.”
Now you’ve got your foundation! Simple right? When fights break out between your kids who won’t share, remind yourself of these goals. When your son comes home with a failing grade, or your child is feeling bored, or your preteen is glued to her phone, or your daughter is fighting with her best friend, or your son comes home drunk…this is now your guide to handle each situation with your goals in place.
Parenting will still have complicated moments. There will be hurtful times and trying times. But for the day-to-day issues and to help keep your mind clear during the big issues, you can always base your parenting around your Parenting Philosophy.
